Time for the weekly roundup of Weird Wednesday, Terror Tuesday, special events and outstanding new releases that you will not want to miss this week. Only the best selections here, aiming to ensure you see at least one great film every day.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday 7/5, 7/6, and 7/7
Alamo Ritz – CROPSEY
Like a real-life Blair Witch Project, this documentary focuses on an urban legend about a boogeyman-esque escaped psychopath who kidnapped and murdered children. Unlike Blair Witch, there genuinely was a mentally disturbed man who was arrested for the deaths of three children, all of whom had mental disabilities themselves. The problem was, this man was convicted without much in the way of conclusive evidence, so the filmmakers explore the case that was made against the suspect and the mysterious Willowbrook campus, an abandoned mental institution where many of the crimes, and satanic rituals, were supposed to have taken place. All sounds too crazy to be true. Isn’t it?

Tuesday 7/6, 7:00pm
The Paramount – Douglas Sirk Double Feature: ALL THAT HEAVEN ALLOWS and IMITATION OF LIFE
At first glance, these Technicolor confections from Douglas Sirk might seem outdated; the participation of such 50s luminaries as Rock Hudson and Sandra Dee certainly won’t ease those concerns. And yet, with each generation, these films continue to gain a strong fan following among film scholars and moviegoers alike. Why? Sirk was a master of the melodrama, a genre of storytelling that will never age as long people have the capacity to cry a little. The women in these films are confronted with problems that may sound like the stuff of daytime soaps, but Sirk and his crew elevate the material through their ingenious use of lighting and framing, isolating these characters both literally and visually. The Paramount will be handing out free Kleenex tissues for a reason.

Wednesday 7/7, 11:55pm
Alamo Ritz – Weird Wednesday: GONE WITH THE POPE
Frequent attendees of Weird Wednesday will probably remember the trailer for MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE. Well, the director of that film made another, which was once thought lost. The Alamo has found it, though, and director Duke Mitchell’s can now be seen by an audience! We saw the trailer for it last week, and it looks like a lot of fun. With a premise that features a con man who kidnaps the pope and demands one dollar from every single Catholic in the world, how can you go wrong?

Friday 7/2-Thursday 7/8
Regal Arbor – I AM LOVE
Starring the striking Tilda Swinton and featuring the music of one of the great contemporary composers John Adams, this film promises to be a real treat for two of the five senses. I think the trailer gets that point across.

Time for the weekly roundup of Weird Wednesday, Terror Tuesday, special events and outstanding new releases that you will not want to miss this week. Only the best selections here, aiming to ensure you see at least one great film every day.

Saturday-Sunday 6/26-6/27, 12:00pm
Alamo Ritz – ROCCO AND HIS BROTHERS
Daniel and Stephen recently enjoyed this 1960 Italian masterpiece in a course we took at the University of Texas. Operatic is a word often used to describe this nearly three-hour-long epic melodrama about a family who leaves poverty-stricken Southern Italy behind to seek prosperity in bustling Milan. However, as the brothers each begin to go their separate ways in order to fulfill their individual desires, the family bond is strained, a recurring theme among postwar Italian films of which this is one of the absolute best.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday 6/28,6/29, and 6/30, 7:00pm
Alamo Ritz – TRASH HUMPERS
If the name Harmony Korine means anything to you, or if you’ve seen the posters for this film in the Alamo lobbies, chances are you are already in line to see this strange and unique bit of cinema. I’ve seen the trailer and honestly can’t tell you what the film is about. Maybe you can tell me:

Tuesday 6/29, 9:30pm
Alamo Ritz – Terror Tuesday: PSYCHO II
Ok, so this second volume of the Psycho saga is not as good as Hitchcock’s original, but then there are maybe only four or five films that are. Nevertheless, Psycho II is an amazing film in its own right, helped immensely by the return of motel proprietor Norman Bates and, more importantly, of the actor who originated the character, Anthony Perkins. I can pretty much guarantee you that, if you find yourself watching a movie with Anthony Perkins in it, you are in the right place (I mean, have you seen Pretty Poison or Play It As It Lays?). If you haven’t seen this before because you remember what The Omen II or The Exorcist II was like, I think you’ll be in for a really happy surprise this time around.

Wednesday 6/30, 9:30pm, NEW RELEASE OF THE WEEK
Alamo Ritz – FINAL FLESH w/ Vernon Chatman in person
Vernon Chatman, one of the people responsible for Wonder Showzen, discovered four porn studios that make custom films specifically tailored to the customer’s kinky desires. He took this opportunity to convince these studios to produce scripts of his that really are not pornographic films at all, but interesting thought experiments delivered by actors and filmmakers who would seemingly be ill-equipped talent-wise for this kind of concept, which is the very reason why the films accomplish their goal in the end. Should be an intriguing night at the cinema, and Chatman himself will be there to answer the many questions that are sure to arise.

Wednesday-Thursday 6/30-7/1, CLASSIC RELEASE OF THE WEEK
The Paramount – Double Feature: FREAKS and THE DEVIL-DOLL
If you haven’t seen Freaks, boy are you in for it. You might think, oh it’s a film from 1932, how crazy can it be? Well, I’ll tell you: it’s crazier than anything that could possibly be released by anyone anywhere today, and it was released by MGM! If you’ve ever been hesitant to declare the 1930s as the Golden Age of Hollywood, this film will surely convince you. Every frame is surreal, and most are admittedly exploitative. Considering that you can stay and see The Devil-Doll for free, which features esteemed actor Lionel Barrymore as a human-shrinking maniac, only sweetens the deal. People walking past the Paramount this week are going to wonder what all that shrieking is about!

Friday 6/25-Thursday 7/1
wide – CYRUS
The Duplass Brothers are back with this film, utilizing more star power than all of their previous films combined. John C. Reilly, Jonah Hill, and Marisa Tomei have combined their celebrity energies (which, when put all together, add up to about one A-List star) to try and put the Duplass’s uniquely morose and nihilistic mumblecore style on the map. Though Austin Cinephile will lament the absence of this year’s best actress Greta Gerwig, as far as Daniel is concerned, anything that draws attention away from Andrew Bujalski is a good thing.

Friday 6/25-Thursday 7/1
Regal Arbor – JOAN RIVERS: A PIECE OF WORK
It’s finally here. This documentary about the ever-present comedienne Joan Rivers, which has been making loudly positive noise at festivals around the globe, seems like a knockout: the trailer alone has had audiences rolling in the aisles and forgetting what movie they were actually in the theater to see. Rivers has certainly played a self-destroying part in de-emphasizing her comic chops over the years, basically agreeing to do every red carpet show and TV Guide Channel special they invite her to do. But as this film will prove, the lady is not only a riot onstage but a deeply thoughtful and introspective human being. I can’t say what this film will do for her career, but for her public persona it should do wonders.

Friday 6/25-Thursday 7/1
Regal Arbor – SOLITARY MAN
The second must-see indie film of the week is this rich character study starring Michael Douglas in maybe the best role I’ve ever seen him play. A once prominent New York car dealer, so prominent that he was once featured in Fortune and Forbes (a car dealer!), Douglas has since been convicted of graft and fraud, which resulted in his dealerships being taken from him and his marriage ending in divorce. Following this life disaster, Douglas attempts to pick up the pieces, using his undeniable charisma to sleep with every woman he meets and to sweet talk his way back into the business. Will this sleazeball ever learn? You’ll have to check out this surprisingly well-made film to find out.

Time for the weekly roundup of Weird Wednesday, Terror Tuesday, special events and outstanding new releases that you will not want to miss this week. Only the best selections here, aiming to ensure you see at least one great film every day.

Sunday 6/20 and Wednesday 6/23, various times
Alamo Ritz – IT CAME FROM KUCHAR
Daniel has already written about this documentary that focuses on underground filmmaking brothers George and Mike Kuchar. If you are unfamiliar with their campy genre films, this doc will serve as a fine introduction, although it sounds like you may have trouble finding their work once hooked.

Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday 6/20,6/21, and 6/23, various times
Alamo Ritz – AMERICAN GRINDHOUSE
The title is pretty self explanatory. This documentary is all about exploitation films, the kind that are usually featured at the Ritz every Wednesday night for Weird Wednesday. So if you are an frequent attendee of that weekly series, or have wondered what it’s all about, this will be a good chance to do a little extracurricular learning. And learning never hurt nobody.

Wednesday 6/23, 8:00pm, CLASSIC RELEASE OF THE WEEK
The Paramount – WINGS
No, this is not the 90’s sitcom starring Steven Wright and Thomas Haden Church. This is the very first winner of the Academy Award for Best Picture, a staggering silent film about a love triangle involving a girl and two World War I fighter pilots. When you think about the fact that they hadn’t even really figured out talking pictures yet, the amazing aerial dogfight footage is even more impressive. This screening will feature a live performance of an original score by Austin Cinephile’s favorite local silent-film accompanist Graham Reynolds. You won’t get many more chances to see this on the big screen, don’t miss it!

Friday 6/18-Thursday 6/24
wide – TOY STORY 3D
The first two Toy Story films were among the greatest animated films of all time, as were most of Pixar’s first ten feature-length films. Here is number eleven, and from what I’ve heard, this is no sloppily done sequel looking to cash in on some familiar characters. Andy is now all grown up and has no need for his toys, which means it may be time for him, and us, to say farewell to Woody, Buzz, and the gang for the last time. Thus, the real reason for those 3-D glasses; no one can see me crying.

Friday 6/18-Thursday 6/24, NEW RELEASE PICK OF THE WEEK
Regal Arbor – SWEETGRASS
Do awful summer movies like The A-Team and The Prince of Persia have you down in the dumps? Well, this weekend, independent cinema is going to provide you with a few reasons to smile. The first is this breathtaking documentary, which is currently the best new film I have seen all year. The film follows two cowboys as they herd a big flock of sheep through a gorgeous series of mountains and streams in what will prove to be (Spoiler Alert!) the last of these journeys for the foreseeable future. The power of the documentary is such that you will mourn the loss of this tradition even though you were just introduced to it an hour and a half ago. There are no talking head interviews or cute animated sequences: just two cowboys, some sheep, and the countryside. It really is a rare cinematic breath of fresh air, and I think we could all use some of that.

Friday 6/18-Thursday 6/24
Regal Arbor – SOLITARY MAN
The second must-see indie film of the week is this rich character study starring Michael Douglas in maybe the best role I’ve ever seen him play. A once prominent New York car dealer, so prominent that he was once featured in Fortune and Forbes (a car dealer!), Douglas has since been convicted of graft and fraud, which resulted in his dealerships being taken from him and his marriage ending in divorce. Following this life disaster, Douglas attempts to pick up the pieces, using his undeniable charisma to sleep with every woman he meets and to sweet talk his way back into the business. Will this sleazeball ever learn? You’ll have to check out this surprisingly well-made film to find out.

Time for the weekly roundup of Weird Wednesday, Terror Tuesday, special events and outstanding new releases that you will not want to miss this week. Only the best selections here, aiming to ensure you see at least one great film every day.

Tuesday 6/08, 7:15pm
Alamo Ritz – I AM CUBA
This film occasionally comes up in conversation among film lovers, even though it’s very likely that no one involved in the conversation has actually seen it. The style and technique of the film are the stuff of legend, and now Austinites have a chance to confirm its grandeur on the big screen. A unique and rare film experience that has been championed by Martin Scorsese and Franky Coppola; don’t miss it.

Wednesday 6/09, 11:55pm
Alamo Ritz – Weird Wednesday: THE HITCHHIKERS
A beautiful band of highway-roamin’ women learn a thing or two from the entrepreneurial female criminals of recent Weird Wednesday hit Moonlighting Wives, this time taking the show on the road as they trick foolish drivers into giving them a ride before taking the drivers for a ride, thievery-style. Sounds like a fun time to me.

Thursday 6/10, 7:00pm
Alamo South Lamar – LOVERS OF HATE
Look out, mumblecore enthusiasts, because this latest entry into the fledgling genre appears to actually attempt something resembling a plot. Two brothers, one successful and one not-so-much, fight for the affections of not-so-much’s wife. Perhaps producers Jay and Mark Duplass got sick of mumbling and decided to experiment with narrative structure.

Friday 6/04-Thursday 6/10, NEW RELEASE PICK OF THE WEEK
wide – GET HIM TO THE GREEK
Anyone who saw 2008’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall knows that, despite a starmaking lead performance by Jason Segel, the film belonged to Russell Brand’s flighty British rocker Aldous Snow. No surprise, then, that the director of that film immediately began work on a spin-off film featuring Aldous, and now it has arrived. Cleverly, the film does not force Brand directly into the spotlight; the protagonist this time around is played by Jonah Hill, who must escort the mischievous star to a nightclub. This will allow Brand to continue doing what he does best, slinking into certain scenes and making off with them.

Monday 6/07-Thursday 6/10, 11:00am
Alamo Village – CORALINE 3D
Coraline was one of the absolute best films of 2009, and it ushered in a year-long love affair between global moviegoers and enhanced 3-D filmmaking, which in turn enhanced the box office returns of nearly every film that employed the technology. Well, guess what? The Alamo is featuring the film as it begins its Summer Kids Club film series this week, which means you can see Coraline, in 3-D, for free! Sure, it’s supposed to be for kids, and we should be at work, but we old folks deserve a little fun more than those brats do.

Time for the weekly roundup of Weird Wednesday, Terror Tuesday, special events and outstanding new releases that you will not want to miss this week. Only the best selections here, aiming to ensure you see at least one great film every day.

Friday 5/21-Thursday 5/27, NEW RELEASE PICK OF THE WEEK
Alamo Ritz – HAUSU
Now you may be asking, “How can a film made in 1977 be Austin Cinephile’s new release pick of the week?” Well, this film is just now realizing its first United States theatrical run in good ol’ 2010, so, as the saying goes, it’s new to you. And the word on the street is that this hour and a half of absolute crazy hasn’t aged a day. It drew rave reviews when it played during Fantastic Fest last year, and film critics everywhere have adored it. The screenings for this Japanese haunted house flick are few and may not last long, so get out of your hausu and head down to the Ritz before it’s too late. P.S. If I really dig this movie, I’ll consider it for my top 10 of 2010 list. We can all look forward to this really bothering Daniel.

Sunday 5/23, all day
The Paramount – CASABLANCA and THE MALTESE FALCON
Casablanca, arguably a perfect film, will be followed by another classic, The Maltese Falcon. It may be Sunday, but even God can’t do better than that. So put on your “They don’t make ‘em like they used to” frown and head on over to the Paramount!

Monday 5/24, 9:45pm,
Alamo Ritz – Music Monday: THE DOORS: WHEN YOU’RE STRANGE
Either you love The Doors, and the Val Kilmer-led biopic about them, or you can go fuck yourself. This new documentary follows the band on their ascent to stardom, narrated by Johnny Depp.

Tuesday and Wednesday 5/25-5/26
The Paramount – ANOTHER THIN MAN and THE THIN MAN GOES HOME
It’s difficult to recommend these films to anyone who has not already seen the original Nick and Nora mystery masterpiece, The Thin Man. Not only is it the best of the series, but it does a brilliant job of establishing this greatest of screen couples, played by the incomparable William Powell and Myrna Loy. So your homework assignment for the weekend is simple: watch The Thin Man. Then we’ll see you at the Paramount for the third and fifth films in the series, in which Powell gets drunk and Loy rolls her eyes for the third and fifth times.

Tuesday 5/25, 9:45pm,
Alamo Ritz – Terror Tuesday: FEAR NO EVIL aka LUCIFER
A kid who gets picked on a lot realizes he has the powers of Satan and decides to have a little revenge on his classmates. Sounds a bit like Carrie, doesn’t it? But hey, this is Terror Tuesday after all, so expect the filmmaking to be a little less classy and the actors to be a little less on-their-way-to-stardom. But it looks like some good, gory, supernatural fun, which is just what we’re looking for on Tuesday nights.

Wednesday 5/26, 11:55pm, CLASSIC PICK OF THE WEEK
Alamo Ritz – Weird Wednesday: SWEET SUGAR
The city of Austin is due for another Women in Prison movie, and recent guest Stephanie Rothman had a hand in the creation of this one, which adds the extra intrigue of a mad doctor experimenting on the buxom inmates by, among other things, throwing angry housecats at them. What astonishing scientific results will this yield? You’ll have to stop by to find out!

Friday 5/21-Thursday 5/27
Regal Arbor – THE SECRET IN THEIR EYES
This film just won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film, beating out favorites like A Prophet and The White Ribbon. Considering the track record of this award in recent years, this does not mean the movie is any good, but it might be.

Friday 5/21-Thursday 5/27
The Dobie – THE SECRET OF KELLS
If you’re a fan of animation like Stephen, you’ve probably been wondering when this Academy Award-nominated film would be coming to Austin, if ever. Well, the Dobie has finally made itself useful for a change, bringing a movie to our city that hasn’t already been playing here for over a month (like their other “new” arrival this weekend, Greenberg). I have no idea what it’s about, but it looks bright and colorful and French (it’s from the producers of The Triplets of Belleville, another fine animated feature). Maybe it will remove the icky taste left in our mouths by Ponyo. Remember how disgustingly cute and childish that was? Let’s hope for something else with this one.

Friday 5/21-Thursday 5/27
Alamo South Lamar – THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE
This is one of those moments when we are really lucky to have the Alamo in our town, because if the Arbor or the Dobie tried to screen this aberration of a film, several of our fine city’s senior citizens would end up either angry or dead. I can’t wait. This movie appears to be about a man who sews people together ass to mouth. They’re still alive by the way. I saw the trailer for this film with the Weird Wednesday crowd last week, and it was blowing our minds. There’s going to be some fainting and probably some gagging during this movie. And that’s just the audience.

Time for the weekly roundup of Weird Wednesday, Terror Tuesday, special events and outstanding new releases that you will not want to miss this week. Only the best selections here, aiming to ensure you see at least one great film every day.

Saturday 5/15, 7:00pm and 11:00pm, MINK STOLE WEEKEND, PART ONE
Alamo Ritz – ALL ABOUT EVIL
Daniel could not be happier that Mink Stole, member of the John Waters troupe, will be in town this weekend to promote not one but two films. First up, on Saturday, she is here with repeat visitor Elvira and director Peaches Christ to promote Christ’s new film, All About Evil. It’s a tribute to old movie houses and classic horror films, so you’ll want to check this movie out before the Paramount Summer Film Series so you can pretend there is a serial killer on the loose in our own local movie house. Maybe it’s you. Or Daniel.

Sunday 5/16, 6:45pm, MINK STOLE WEEKEND, PART TWO
Alamo Ritz – Hey Homo: PINK FLAMINGOS
This is one of the more well-known films of one of Daniel’s favorite filmmakers, John Waters. I can’t say much about it because I don’t know much about it, and I’m certainly not going to spoil any of the fun now. Just do a Google Image search of Pink Flamingos, and I’ll see you at the Ritz on Sunday.

Monday 5/17, 10:00pm,
Alamo South Lamar – F.W. MURNAU’S SUNRISE w/ live score by MY EDUCATION
We didn’t get a chance to write a rave review for this event when it first happened a couple weeks ago at the Ritz, but let us just tell you now that this is a not-to-be-missed pairing of film and band. My Education has crafted a fine score for Murnau’s classic melodrama, which is one of the top two or three greatest silent films ever made. Don’t miss it.

Tuesday 5/18, 10:15pm,
Alamo Ritz – Terror Tuesday: THE BURBS
Very rarely will you see Tom Hanks appearing in a Terror Tuesday film. By rarely, I mean this will surely be the only time. So there must be something pretty special about this movie. We saw the trailer before last week’s film, and it seemed like it might be funny.

Wednesday 5/19, 11:55pm, CLASSIC PICK OF THE WEEK
Alamo Ritz – Weird Wednesday: THE LONG GOODBYE
We can’t often wholeheartedly recommend a Weird Wednesday movie because, usually, we’ve never seen them before ourselves. But you don’t need us to tell you that this 1970s revision of Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe character is the best thing going this week. It’s got Elliott Gould as Marlowe, who was really not that cool before this movie and never really cool again after this movie, so you won’t want to miss these two hours when Gould was the coolest man alive. And it’s directed by Robert Altman, who was also responsible for Gould being pretty close to cool in M*A*S*H. Every week at Weird Wednesday, we are subjected to 1970s men who are desperately lame, but not this week.

Thursday 5/20, 6:00pm, PARAMOUNT SUMMER FILM SERIES KICKOFF
The Paramount – CASABLANCA and THE MALTESE FALCON
The one event that Austin Cinephiles live for every summer, the Paramount Theatre’s Summer Film Series, is back, starting Thursday with an exclusive Film Fan party screening of what just might be the perfect movie: Casablanca. Now you may be thinking, “Why tell me about this? I’m not a Film Fan member.” I’m telling you because you should be a Film Fan member. Membership is cheap, it supports our wonderful old movie house, and it gets you great stuff like discounted tickets and free popcorn. So even though it may be a club that has Daniel and Stephen as members, you’re still going to want to be a part of it before Thursday. The party offers free soda, popcorn, cocktails, etc., and Casablanca will be followed by another classic, The Maltese Falcon. So put on your “They don’t make ‘em like they used to” frown and head on over to the Paramount!

Friday 5/14-Thursday 5/20, NEW RELEASE PICK OF THE WEEK
Alamo South Lamar – EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP
If you follow guerrilla street art (and after all, who doesn’t?), then you probably already know all about this film, which is purportedly by Banksy, the world’s most well-known/mysterious vandal aesthete. Let’s join Banksy in mocking both the system and the poor filmmaker who tried to make a movie about him.

Friday 5/14-Thursday 5/20
The Dobie – THE EXPLODING GIRL
This little-seen film got decent reviews from the few critics who bothered to take a look at it, and it stars Zoe Kazan, granddaughter of legendary filmmaker Elia Kazan (who will receive a four film tribute during the Paramount Summer Film Series (go to the Paramount Summer Film Series is what I’m trying to tell you)). You may remember her as that girl that kept running into Zac Efron in Me and Orson Welles. I think she has more to do here.

Friday 5/14-Thursday 5/20
Regal Arbor – THE SECRET IN THEIR EYES
This film just won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film, beating out favorites like A Prophet and The White Ribbon. Considering the track record of this award in recent years, this does not mean the movie is any good, but it might be.

Friday 5/14-Thursday 5/20
wide – ROBIN HOOD
Ok, so Austin Cinephile doesn’t hold out much hope for this latest Ridley Scott-Russell Crowe effort, but Stephen certainly remembers thinking Gladiator was pretty fucking rad when he was 15. This would seem to be that film in a different time period, with Cate Blanchett instead of…whoever that lady was in Gladiator. This might be the perfect opportunity for you to try out the new Gold Class Cinemas: at 2 and a half hours, you’ll certainly get your money’s worth on that high-priced movie ticket, and, at the hour and a half mark, when you’re hit with the realization that this movie still has an hour left to go (known as the “Ridley Scott Mid-Point Reversal”), you can call for the pillows and blankets and dream of a better movie.

Friday 5/14-Thursday 5/20
The Dobie – THE SECRET OF KELLS
If you’re a fan of animation like Stephen, you’ve probably been wondering when this Academy Award-nominated film would be coming to Austin, if ever. Well, the Dobie has finally made itself useful for a change, bringing a movie to our city that hasn’t already been playing here for over a month (like their other “new” arrival this weekend, Greenberg). I have no idea what it’s about, but it looks bright and colorful and French (it’s from the producers of The Triplets of Belleville, another fine animated feature). Maybe it will remove the icky taste left in our mouths by Ponyo. Remember how disgustingly cute and childish that was? Let’s hope for something else with this one.

Friday 5/14-Thursday 5/20
Alamo South Lamar – THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE
This is one of those moments when we are really lucky to have the Alamo in our town, because if the Arbor or the Dobie tried to screen this aberration of a film, several of our fine city’s senior citizens would end up either angry or dead. I can’t wait. This movie appears to be about a man who sews people together ass to mouth. They’re still alive by the way. I saw the trailer for this film with the Weird Wednesday crowd last week, and it was blowing our minds. There’s going to be some fainting and probably some gagging during this movie. And that’s just the audience.

Time for the weekly roundup of Weird Wednesday, Terror Tuesday, special events and outstanding new releases that you will not want to miss this week. Only the best selections here, aiming to ensure you see at least one great film every day.

Friday 5/7-Thursday 5/13, NEW RELEASE PICK OF THE WEEK
Alamo South Lamar – HUMAN CENTIPEDE
This is one of those moments when we are really lucky to have the Alamo in our town, because if the Arbor or the Dobie tried to screen this aberration of a film, several of our fine city’s senior citizens would end up either angry or dead. I can’t wait. This movie appears to be about a man who sews people together ass to mouth. They’re still alive by the way. I saw the trailer for this film with the Weird Wednesday crowd last week, and it was blowing our minds. There’s going to be some fainting and probably some gagging during this movie. And that’s just the audience.

Wednesday 5/12, 11:55pm, CLASSIC PICK OF THE WEEK
Alamo Ritz – Weird Wednesday: MOONLIGHTING WIVES
Earlier this week, Daniel mourned the loss of director Joe Sarno, one of the most influential of the sexploitation directors, and this week Weird Wednesday will follow suit by showing one of Sarno’s great films. In a sense, this is the first of what will likely be many posthumous triumphs for Sarno. Most artists say they hope to live on through their work, and many critics felt that what Sarno did was not art. And yet, here he’ll be, Wednesday night at the Alamo Ritz, alive and well.

Tuesday 5/11, 10:10pm,
Alamo Ritz – Terror Tuesday: PROM NIGHT (1980)
Ah, the good old days, when Jamie Lee Curtis couldn’t set foot in Hollywood without being chased by some kind of murderer. Be sure to get here on time so you can hear one of Zack’s patented anti-remake tirades.

Friday 5/7-Thursday 5/13
wide – IRON MAN 2
Here it is, the beginning of summer movie season. Like 2008, this year’s slate kicks off with Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man. Will this film match the critical and financial success of the first movie? Will it ultimately be overshadowed by a Dark Knight-caliber mega phenomenon? Will Scarlett Johansson’s leather-clad performance remind us of Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman…or Halle Berry’s Catwoman? Initial reviews are mixed, but as if that’s going to stop you, me, or anyone else in the world from going to see this. At least, that’s what Marvel is counting on as it continues to build up steam for the inevitable Avengers epic.

Friday 5/7-Thursday 5/13
Alamo South Lamar and Regal Arbor – BABIES
Admit it, you can’t say no to an actual baby, and you can’t say no to this.

Friday 5/7-Thursday 5/13
The Dobie – THE SECRET OF KELLS
If you’re a fan of animation like Stephen, you’ve probably been wondering when this Academy Award-nominated film would be coming to Austin, if ever. Well, the Dobie has finally made itself useful for a change, bringing a movie to our city that hasn’t already been playing here for over a month (like their other “new” arrival this weekend, Greenberg). I have no idea what it’s about, but it looks bright and colorful and French (it’s from the producers of The Triplets of Belleville, another fine animated feature). Maybe it will remove the icky taste left in our mouths by Ponyo. Remember how disgustingly cute and childish that was? Let’s hope for something else with this one.

Time for the weekly roundup of Weird Wednesday, Terror Tuesday, special events and outstanding new releases that you will not want to miss this week. Only the best selections here, aiming to ensure you see at least one great film every day.

Sunday 3/2, 7:00pm, PICK OF THE WEEK
Alamo Ritz – Cinema Club: NIGHT NURSE
Seems like it was only yesterday that we were reveling in the glories of Bride of Frankenstein, but Cinema Club is back! This month we are going to dirty our towels with the salacious, pre-code classic Night Nurse, a film that lacks for nothing. We’ve got two of Daniel’s favorite screen sirens, Barbara Stanwyck as the titular character, stealing the screen with her usual sexy confidence, and Joan Blondell, one of cinema’s finest supporting actresses, not to mention Clark Gable as a mean chauffeur and director William A. Wellman (The Public Enemy) bringing it all home. We will be joined by Kim Morgan, who, in addition to running her blog Sunset Gun, has an awe-inspiring amount of experience writing and talking about films, with essays in Huffington Post, Entertainment Weekly, and GQ and a guest appearance filling in for Roger Ebert on At the Movies. She knows her stuff, folks, and if you attend this rare and unique event, you will too.

Tuesday 5/4, 9:45pm,
Alamo Ritz – Terror Tuesday: THE BROOD
Uh oh everybody, it’s David Cronenberg and we are in for some wild shit. This is a man whose most marketable film is probably the one where a stark naked Viggo Mortensen gets into a knife fight in a London bathhouse. Before he and Mortensen started tackling more down-to-earth subjects (their next collaboration will see Mortensen as Sigmund Freud), Cronenberg was known for some truly legendary sci-fi flicks like Videodrome and the remake of The Fly with Austin Cinephile favorite Jeff Goldblum, as well as a few horrifying pictures like The Brood. The only thing crazier than Cronenberg’s early work is the fact that they kept letting him make these films. I think more than a few new Cronenberg fans will be created tonight.

Wednesday 5/5, 7:00pm
Alamo Ritz – Cinco de Mayo Feast: THREE AMIGOS
Stephen doesn’t mind telling you that he would love to go this and enjoy once again one of his favorite childhood comedies, even if it clearly is not the most politically correct film the Alamo could have chosen to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. You remember last week at your office when someone asked you if you had enough staples and you said yes and in a Spanish accent they said “Would you say that we have a plethora of staples” and you thought “What the hell is Phil talking about?” This movie will tell you! And my mouth is watering just reading about the three courses being served along with it.

Sunday 5/2-Wednesday 5/5, varied times
Alamo Ritz – THE EVIL DEAD
Surely you’ve seen this movie already. Can one even make it through middle school without having seen this film? Before the Spider-Man spectacle, Sam Raimi was stretching his ten dollars to create this bloody, cheeky romp through demonic possession and zombie killing, reminding all student filmmakers that it doesn’t cost much to film a woman being sexually assaulted by a tree. This movie is probably why we stopped climbing trees in the 6th grade, so stop by for a bit of nostalgia.

Friday 4/30-Thursday 5/6
wide – A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
I have to tell you, I’m not terribly excited about this one, but I can’t not mention a new horror movie. I actually thought the Last House on the Left remake was pretty decent, Friday the 13th a little less so. In the case of Elm Street, though, most of the allure of the original was Robert Englund’s performance as serial dream murderer Freddy Krueger and Wes Craven’s marvelous way with making cheap visual effects look spectacularly eerie. Jackie Earle Haley is no chopped liver, but he’s stepping into some of the biggest shoes in the history of horror cinema, and I have a bad feeling. See at your own peril.

Thursday 5/6, midnight
everywhere that has a movie screen – IRON MAN 2
These days, you pretty much have to talk about a big new movie in terms of Thursday midnights. The studios have been cashing in on our crazy desire to stand in line until midnight on a weekday to see the latest movie 12 hours before everyone else, and Iron Man 2 will surely be no different. If you’re inclined, the Alamo Village is showing a double feature with the first film, starting at 9:45. More on this film on next week’s calendar, where it really belongs.

Time for the weekly roundup of Weird Wednesday, Terror Tuesday, special events and outstanding new releases that you will not want to miss this week. Only the best selections here, aiming to ensure you see at least one great film every day.

Sunday 4/25, 12:00pm
Alamo Ritz – Jazz Brunch: Woody Allen’s SLEEPER
We’ve already been pretty clear about our adoration for this futuristic comedy from Woody Allen. If you haven’t seen any Woody Allen films, or if you’ve seen one or two and were only lukewarm about them, may I suggest you give this one a try? The gags in this film have not aged a bit, and the jazz tunes used in the film are some of my favorites that Woody has ever chosen. Speaking of jazz tunes, be sure to get there at noon because the Alamo has commissioned local jazz band Stanley Smith and the Jazz Pharaohs to play a few songs before the film. Free concert everybody!

Sunday 4/25, 7:00pm, PICK OF THE WEEK
Alamo Ritz – F.W. Murnau’s SUNRISE
We here at Austin Cinephile cannot recommend this event enough! First of all, you have Sunrise, one of the all-time greatest arguments for silent cinema. In a year when talking pictures were becoming all the rage, this film served as a reminder of how far filmmakers had come in crafting deeply emotional and thoughtful stories entirely through the visual art of the cinema. Though that would be enough to get down to the Ritz, we’re also getting the band My Education performing their score live right along with the film! That makes this an event you won’t likely be offered again. Don’t miss it!

Tuesday 4/27, 10:00pm,
Alamo Ritz – Terror Tuesday: ALONE IN THE DARK
Rarely will you recognize a single actor in the films of the Terror Tuesday. This week, you’ll likely recognize three. Three! There’s Jack Palance, who you’ll probably remember from City Slickers or, more importantly, the short lived crime boss from Tim Burton’s Batman. There’s Martin Landau, great as Bela Lugosi in Burton’s Ed Wood and as the tortured lead character in Woody Allen’s Crimes and Misdemeanors. And there’s Donald Pleasance, who…well, if you don’t know him, you probably skipped this entry.

Wednesday 4/28, 11:55pm
Alamo Ritz – Weird Wednesday: THE CHEERLEADERS
Did you read the title?

Friday 4/23-Thursday 4/29
Alamo South Lamar – BEST WORST MOVIE
If you’ve been lucky enough to see Troll 2, accurately hailed as one of the worst films ever made, then you’ll want to catch this documentary that recounts the making of that film and catches up with the lives of those involved. If Troll 2 was a representation of the stark, raving failure that can befall any artistic endeavor, Best Worst Movie is the hopeful portrayal of perseverance, reminding that, at the very least, you can still go back to being a dentist. O

Time for the weekly roundup of Weird Wednesday, Terror Tuesday, special events and outstanding new releases that you will not want to miss this week. Only the best selections here, aiming to ensure you see at least one great film every day.

Monday 4/19-Thursday 4/22, 9:30pm, PICK OF THE WEEK
Alamo Village – Digital Classics: SCARFACE (1983)
Now that the Alamo Village has been equipped with state-of-the-art high definition digital projectors, it’s time to take a look back at some classic films in all their restored glory, continuing this week with Brian De Palma’s 1983 remake of the gangster classic, Scarface. At nearly three hours in length, this epic crime film is clearly more than just “Say hello to my little friend.” Come see what all the fuss is about, in eye-melting high-definition.

Monday 4/19, 10:45pm
Alamo Ritz – Music Monday: PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE
It must be Brian De Palma week at the Alamo. This is his 1970s freakout update of the Phantom of the Opera story, swapping the Paris Opera House voice coach Phantom of the original for a demented record producer who haunts all the nightclub hotspots looking for his latest prey. This is one of those early De Palma movies that explains why people can describe Scarface as “calmer” De Palma. Take it from me, you’ve got to see this.

Friday 4/16-Thursday 4/22
Alamo South Lamar – THE SQUARE
This thriller is shrouded in mystery, mainly because it comes from Australia and who knows what goes on over there. It starts as any great thriller must, with two married people who are having an affair with each other hatching a plan to make their lovelife a little easier, at any cost. Where it goes from there…

Tuesday 4/20, 7:00pm
Alamo Ritz – Hey Homo: PRISCILLA: QUEEN OF THE DESERT
This month’s Hey Home feature is the much beloved tale of three drag queens roaming the Australian Outback in a tour bus named Priscilla. Look, there’s Hugo Weaving as Mitzi Del Bra, years before he would become pigeonholed as Agent Smith or Elrond. And there’s Guy Pearce as Felicia Jollygoodfellow, well on his way to minor stardom in L.A. Confidential and Memento. And there is the always welcome Terence Stamp as Bernadette Bassenger, many years after he gave us one of the great movie villains: Superman’s nemesis General Zod. Join these three class actors, and Hey Homo host Rebecca Havemeyer, on an unforgettable sightseeing tour.

Wednesday 4/21, 7:00pm
Alamo South Lamar – HAROLD AND MAUDE
I’m willing to bet you’ve heard of this film, and you know it’s about a depressed 19-year old boy who forms a loving bond with a 79-year old woman. I’m also willing to bet you’ve never seen it. Well, now’s your chance to see this touching relationship play out on the big screen. No, not that kind of touching.